Deskilled

I've been recently feeling a little deskilled, or rather, like I haven't had the time dedicated to focussed activity in a given domain, that results in building skills.

I think it's from really two main things. Firstly, I've been watching a lot of casual Youtube, or podcasts, or doing other things, that mean that I am more consumptive in my habits, and also I have been using AI to an extent. It is something I know I shouldn't use, and doesn't benefit me really.

I think I need to make sure that the time I spend is more focussed, and I block out time for specific things. Like, if I want to get my Japanese back up to shape, I need to actually block out time to study kanji. I've been mulling over trying a bit of a project to learn some Georgian (just enough to have a grasp of the verbal system and script, and maybe write a few things on the blog in it). I feel like to an extent I can't even fully fathom the idea of sitting down and learning the Mkhedruli script, despite it only being 33 letters (or 38 for the older ones). I remember that I managed Japanese hiragana and katakana both quite easily (each 46 characters, not counting the dakuten and handakuten diacritics) but for some reason now it all seems a lot more daunting. It's only 33 letters!

I wanted for a while, and actually was for a while, to watch films instead of Youtube. Well, I didn't really think of it as a replacement for YT, but rather as a thing I would do as a routine each Friday. I watched a couple of good classics, like Fight Club, Casablanca, Pulp Fiction, Amelie, etc. doing thing. I think each of these have more meaning to me than the Youtube I'm currently watching.

I want to spend more time away from screens, and maybe only use screens for the things that are beneficial: some reading of blogs (and try to send more emails out to people!), some programming, writing on my own blog, etc. Then, I can spend the rest of the time without screens as much as I can.

The thing is, I don't have the same skills anymore, if I ever had them. I can't just sit down and write C, or C++ or Rust or Zig, not easily, in a way to get a more complex program. I can't speak any language well except for German. I just have familiarity with the ones I know. Then I think of learning new languages!

I need to try to get very good using single tools. Dependencies are not bad, and having a dependency on say, Rust, or C, or Zig, isn't bad. The only potential issue would be if the dependency stops, and it can't: software is perpetual. Likewise, a language is perpetual, to an extent. What's important is really building up the skill there.

Youtube is emphemeral. It disappears immediately and just uses the time; it doesn't benefit me in any way from it. Films are perpetual to an extent, at least the classics are, as the benefits from them (conversation etc.) last for a long time. Less so for the more modern ones that disappear from the public consciousness quickly.

And of course, I haven't even mentioned mandolin. I need to set aside time to actually practise the skills: fast diatonic runs, chromatic runs (which use a different fingering), making sure that the notes all sound clear, working on dynamics, measured tremolo, ...

All of these I get some practise by practising the pieces, but not enough. I also need to set aside time for the actual technique.

Anyways, that's what I've been thinking. It's really just a lack of focus, and a lack of time set aside for focusing.

I do wonder about whether I should be more dramatic, and try to block off more things - like get rid of Brave on my mobile, so that I can only access the internet on my laptop. Then if I want entertainment, I don't opt for music, or for Youtube - I opt for a book. I could get in the habit of bringing books about with me instead of my phone, which I would get more value out of anyways!

I suppose the problem is a bit of changing of habits, and also designing habits that I'm willing (and going) to stick by.

More needs to happen on this front, I think.